For many, Mother’s Day is a time to honor and celebrate your mother. For others, however, the day can be less joyful.

There are many reasons people may struggle with Mother’s Day sadness. Your mother may have died, or you are estranged. You may have lost a child or be struggling to conceive. You may feel underappreciated by your family. You may have a newborn and be struggling with postpartum depression or other mental health challenges.

You are not alone, and your feelings are valid.

Duval County, for example, has one of the highest rates of infant mortality in the state of Florida. Nationally, one in seven women will experience postpartum depression.

It is OK if you experience Mother’s Day sadness. To protect your mental health and wellbeing, it may be helpful to plan ahead to make the day less difficult.

If Mother’s Day is sad because your mother or child has died:

  • Do something as a tribute: If your mother was passionate about helping animals, consider volunteering at your local humane society. If you lost a child, can you do something that supports an organization that helped you? Spending time on this day to do something that honors your lost loved one can provide a sense of purpose.
  • Plan around uncomfortable situations: If you head to a restaurant during brunch on Mother’s Day or log on to social media, you’re likely to see happy families and celebrations. If possible, avoid situations where you think you may find those dynamics. That doesn’t mean you have to spend the day shut in at home- consider going to a scary movie or doing some other activity that isn’t a traditional Mother’s Day celebration.
  • Reach out to loved ones who may also need support: If you have friends or other family who can appreciate your position or may struggle with their own dynamic with their mother, then you can both be a good support for each other on this day. Put on some cozy pajamas, cook an indulgent dessert, and enjoy time together.

If you are estranged from your mother or child:

  • Speak in other ways: Are there things left unsaid in your relationship? Consider writing a letter that you will never mail or going somewhere you used to go together and talking yourself through what you’re feeling. This could bring up intense emotions, so make sure you’re ready to face those. But it could help you feel a sense of closure, without having to reunite.
  • Prepare for the people who will question you: For many, holidays are a reason to make amends. Because of that, someone who doesn’t understand your estrangement may choose to use Mother’s Day as a reason to try to push you to your loved one. They may even have good intentions, but they don’t understand the situation. Think ahead of time about what you would be willing and comfortable to say in these situations, so that you’re not caught off guard.

If you are having trouble conceiving or are struggling with early motherhood:

  • Honor yourself: Take time on this day to do something you enjoy and something that celebrates you- go shopping for a new outfit, treat yourself to dessert at your favorite cafe, go for a run. Whatever brings you joy, be intentional about making sure it happens on this day.
  • Give yourself permission to feel how you do: If you speak with anyone on Mother’s Day, they’ll likely ask how it feels to be a new mother, or they’ll ask how the journey to motherhood is going. You don’t have to share your full story with them, but you also don’t have to pretend that everything is ok. Being honest and true to yourself is important, so think ahead of time about what you are comfortable saying to anyone who asks.

If you struggle with Mother’s Day sadness because you feel underappreciated by your family:

  • Communicate honestly: It’s common for everyone to downplay what they really want on days like this- if your family asks what you want as a gift, you may respond that you just want time with them. Consider, instead, communicating honestly and fully. Maybe you want someone else to handle cooking, you want a trip to the spa, you want time to do a hobby. Don’t hesitate to actually ask for what you want!

And for everyone, know when you need help. While some of these steps can help, if you’re experiencing depression, anxiety, or other mental health challenges- and if those challenges get more intense at times like this- then consider reaching out to a trained mental health professional for support. The Jax Therapy Network has a searchable database of local, licensed counselors and therapists who can support a range of mental health needs.


Ready to find your therapist? Search the Jax Therapy Network and find therapists specializing in sadness or grief near you.