Sexual health is an important part of our overall health and well-being, including our mental health. If you got any sex education growing up, it was very likely wrapped into a health, PE, or biology class and focused on how not to get pregnant (and maybe also including some pictures of STD-ridden genitals). Sex education, when it’s offered in school settings, almost never covers the mental health impacts of sexuality. So, what is sexual health from a holistic perspective and how does it impact our mental health?

The World Health Organization[1] defines Sexual Health like this:

“…a state of physical, emotional, mental and social well-being in relation to sexuality; it is not merely the absence of disease, dysfunction or infirmity. Sexual health requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence. For sexual health to be attained and maintained, the sexual rights of all persons must be respected, protected and fulfilled.” (WHO, 2006a)

Many of Us Don’t Even Think About Sexual Health

Unfortunately, like other parts of our healthcare, many of us don’t even think about sexual health until there’s a problem. We experience a bad breakup, confusing sexual encounter, body parts that don’t cooperate, a fantasy that scares us, or – at worst – sexual abuse or trauma. Then, because of taboo, stigma, and a lack of social support around sexual wellbeing, we don’t know where to turn. In our desperation we head to our friends and Dr. Google. This means that most of us are learning about sex, relationships, and our sexual health from tequila-filled girls’ nights, locker rooms, Reddit threads, Facebook groups, and porn. Darling, there are better ways.

I’d Like to Introduce You to the PLISSIT Model

Developed by Jack Annon in the 1970’s, PLISSIT [2] is the model that many sex therapists and educators use to assess appropriate intervention levels for sexual concerns and problems.

P: Permission

For sexual health professionals, this means giving clients and students permission to openly discuss their sexual issues and interests. It’s also about giving people permission to enjoy and embrace their sexuality. This step is all about empowering YOU to seek out the information and support you deserve to live your best life, without shame or judgement. You’re the boss of you, so look for professionals who empower you to step into your own sense of self and then provide with you the information and support you need to move through the world with confidence.

LI: Limited Information

This step involves sexual health professionals giving folks information about their sexuality, their relationships, and their sexual interests. This is where you work with the pros to identify your goals and discuss risks, options, and resources for exploring your sexuality and relationships in ways that are healthy for you.

S: Specific Suggestions

After a thorough evaluation of your goals, concerns, and desires, sexual health professionals will offer resources and specific suggestions that you can consider implementing. This is a solutions-based approach; an ongoing process that requires participation from both client and professional. This will make up the bulk of your relationship with a sexual health professional.

IT: Intensive Therapy

Should it become apparent that your concerns or issues have underlying psychological or medical problems, you will likely be referred to an appropriate healthcare professional or, if you’re already working with that person, a more intensive approach may be incorporated into your time together. Intensive Therapy can occur in place of other support systems, or in cooperation with them. It may, for example, become apparent that before you work on an issue regarding your libido, you’ll need to see a psychiatrist to help manage an anxiety disorder. These processes could happen in-tandem or you could decide to get a handle on your anxiety and then re-visit your libido issue if it’s still present.

Where to Go for This Kind of Support?

How Do You Know Who and Where to Go for This Kind of Support? Well, there are myriad types of sexual health professionals. Any or all of them could become a useful part of your sexual health support team.

Sexuality Educators

Most sexual health professionals agree that a foundation of comprehensive, inclusive, affirming (and medically/scientifically sound) sex education would solve a lot of the issues folks perceive to be problems in their sex lives and relationships. Knowledge really is power. A good sexuality educator is a great resource for every step of the PLISSIT model except the IT.

Physicians

Some issues folks face are medical or physiological. Hormone imbalances, chronic pain and illness, disability, chemical imbalances in the brain or other physical processing, and normal effects of aging are all examples of physiological issues that can impact your sexuality both physically and mentally. A qualified medical health professional will be able to help you solve, understand, or rule out physiological issues so that your time with an educator or therapist can be more productive.

Counselors and Therapists (who specialize)

Mental health professionals who specialize in sexual health, relationships, issues around sex and gender, etc., are amazing resources for taking care of your sexual wellbeing and your relationships. These folks understand the ways that your sexuality is part of your whole person. They understand the impacts of your life experiences, your overall mental health, and your individual personality on your sexual identity, sexual behaviors, and relationships. A good therapist will respect your individual needs and authentic sense of self and help you understand and move through your world in ways that are mentally healthy for you and those around you.

Social workers, advocates, and community support

If you’ve experienced sexual violence, abuse, or other trauma, it impacts your entire life. There are folks whose entire job is to help you work through the practical impacts of sexual trauma (legal issues, financial issues, housing relocation, etc.) and connect you with resources including professionals like those listed above and co-survivors that can understand your unique experiences and help lift you up.

I often tell folks to think of their whole person like a vehicle moving them through life. Your sexuality is an integral part of making that vehicle run well. Crashes and wrecks happen; those are not your fault. Most of your sexual well being, however, is very much in your control.

Don’t wait until you’re broken down on the side of the road to service the vehicle. Consider sexual health professionals like an awesome set of resources for tune ups and optimizations. It’s like that MTV show Pimp My Ride, but instead of Xzibit putting an espresso machine in the back of your Honda Civic, you’ve got a stellar educator or therapist helping you live your best, most blinged-out sex life.

Courtesy: Angel Russell, CSE

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